“Life is a rollercoaster”… how cliche.
Seriously? I see no coasting. It’s frickin’ up and down…way the hell up and down. At least it isn’t the pits, right? At least I have optimism and wit so I enjoy the ups. And I have the fortitude to deal with the pitfalls. I do wonder…will I be giddy and flush with adrenaline at the end of the ride? Or will I wobble off on shaky legs and puke?
For example…here’s what this week has been like:
Monday = meh.
Mondays are my least favorite day of the week. I’m not a morning person. Meetings? (Sigh)…reserving blocks of time that I can’t call my own feels like a loss of freedom.
Mondays (ick) + mornings (yawn) + meetings (confinement) = general yuck.
On the flip side – I’m glad to be alive to experience Mondays.
Tuesday = good.
Wednesday = holy shit.
Wednesday’s aren’t supposed to be like this.
4:00 a.m. – Dog goes apeshit at something outside. Upon investigation: Oh, it’s just a man sprinting across the yard (into the bush), across the driveway and around the corner. Plus three guys walking down the sidewalk. Close the door, twist the lock, back to bed.
4:05 a.m. - Sirens, more barking, flashing lights through the window. The cop outside, who drew not only his flashlight (intent to blind?) but also a loaded gun, barks at my husband (as loud as the dog), “Get back in your house!” Mmmkay. Close the door, twist the lock, go to the window, watch police surround the house across the street.
4:30 a.m. – More sirens and flashy lights, what’s that “womp womp womp” sound? Ever the optimist, I think that the helicopter can’t be part of the police activities outside my window.
8:00 a.m. – Phone rings. A recording from the city alerts me of a search underway in my area. If I should happen to see a 6-foot tall, 180-pound, Hispanic male wearing a black shirt and orange shorts, I shouldn’t try to engage him in conversation. Instead I should call 9-1-1. As if I would say, “Hey, you’re the guy who ran through my yard at 4 am. Maybe if you waited until daylight you wouldn’t have run into the bush.”
On my way to work, I see cops ev-er-y where. Call my Dad – he says more helicopters are coming. Plus dogs. It’s a manhunt. I’m goin’ to work because I’m pretty sure black and orange shorts dude won’t be there.
10 a.m. – A local television network van is outside my house. News woman is talking to neighbors. Neighbors are nice. Even the one who, with a baseball bat, hit the black and orange runner.
Major League action next door. Turns out that the running halloween clothed guy tried to break into my neighbor’s house. He happened to be my neighbor’s daughter’s ex-boyfriend and was met with a bat-wielding Spaniard. Oh and the pumpkin shorts runner is on parole with a long list of previous violations. Grrrreaaaaat. Police units from surrounding cities join the hunt for Mr. Jack -O-Lantern pants. They catch the him in the afternoon.
In other news – my new laptop falls on the tiled floor, battery immediately dies. On the upside, it recovers so I can Google the crime in my ‘hood. And my son says, “I didn’t choose the thug life. it chose me.” I have to chuckle.
Seriously? Can Thursday or Friday come even slightly close to what happened on Wednesday?
Thursday = Started awesome and finished average
Walk into work – big boss asks to talk to me in private (uh oh). Then gives me a surprise spot bonus (hot damn that’s awesome)!
Super-busy preparing for a last-minute presentation, friend stops by my desk to tell me I’ve been looking tired and stressed (oh, thanks man). Another friend gives me homemade lavendar prickly pear syrup. Yummy.
Run late for my son’s football game but he gets to play almost the entire game and does great! Then it rains during the game (ugh). Stress about what to wear for my presentation :/ but find something that works.
Friday – idontevenknowwhattothink
8 a.m. – Find out my iTunes account is being accessed by 3 “unauthorized” users who recently bought $160 worth of movies. I de-authorize everyone, change passwords. On the bright side, one of the movies they bought is one I’ve been wanting to see. It’s playing as I type this. Robert Downey Jr. rocks.
Drive to work, get Starbucks on the way. Yum. Park the car…trunk won’t open. Doors won’t lock. Keyless fail? Oh yeah…and worse. The car is pretty much dead. I gotta do my presentation though.
11 a.m. – Presentation rocks. I get a boxed lunch. Free food rocks.
12:30 p.m. – Car is still dead. Dealership and warranty people give me the runaround. They suck. So I pay them a personal visit. After escalating, I get help. Four hours later, my lunch is no longer edible.
6:30 pm – Son scores tickets to the Red Hot Chili Peppers concert (hot frickin’ damn)!
6:31 pm – Dealership calls – they can’t replicate the issue. Need to get my car by 9 pm. Hope the 2nd new battery solves everything. (Got a new battery 2 weeks ago and today the new battery, electrical, ignition – everything – stops working …hmmmmm). Plus I was charged $71 for a tow that never happened.
6:50 p.m. – Dealer calls again: “Sorry, we’re closing early (in 10 minutes).” Wait till tomorrow to get my car.
7:00 p.m. – Concert tickets in hand (thank you, Lee)! Seats = SUITES (plus parking pass) – thank you, Mayra!
…to be continued. Saturdays and Sundays usually close the week strong.