We Are What We Experience

What was your first memory? Take a moment to think way back. For some of us, that “way back” will take a couple of moments longer than for others.

Mine is a memory of a hospital stay. I believe I was four years old and my Dad was holding me at the nurse’s station. I remember a foot-high gumdrop tree perched on the counter of the station – the sugar crystals glistening in the florescent lights. My head was cradled on my Dad’s shoulder as he swayed back and forth, rocking me to sleep.  

The crystalline sparkles of the gumdrops grew hazy as my heavy eyelids blurred my focus. A deep cramp followed by a burning heat between my legs would jar me awake – the painful call of needing to go to the bathroom. I would tense, wince and cry until the pain was gone. Then the cycle would start over until an operation would finally provide relief. To this day – hospitals don’t scare me. Nurses and needles don’t frighten me. An oncoming UTI, though, means sheer terror.

From that experience, I learned about the comfort a parent can give a child in even the most painful of times. And I learned that our level of tolerance for what life presents expands based on what we experience. At the early age of four, this one experience would be the basis for exponential growth and development. At any early age, for most of us, our experiences will shape how we perceive the world.

And so it is with writing.

Writing is experiential.

If you expect to be known as a writer, you first have to write. Common sense tells you that, right? But to only write isn’t enough. To grow as a writer, you have to share your writing or at least let your experiences shape your writing. How will you know you suck at character development but excel at building plot? You gotta try.

It may be enough for some, although I would find it a shame, to not share your writing with at least one other person. It’s scary at first but once you have a reader, you begin to experience the uncertainty and misgivings that come with putting your thoughts into words. It’s from this point that you begin to develop the foundation of writing for an audience. And, unless you’re like the late J.D. Salinger – a reclusive writer who, after cultish fame, would not have his work published – the world will begin to digest and appreciate your writing. You, in turn, will develop as a writer. It’s a cycle of learning and development that make writing a fulfilling craft.

Call me crazy…or “call me Ishmael.” I say, push your experiences and take your writing to the next level. You know…take a bite of that gumdrop and see where it leads you – then tell us all about it through your writing.

You are Your Worst Critic. So, Share.

Many artists I know are hyper-sensitive and hyper-critical of their own work. “We are our own worst critic” is true and we know it. And edit and refine as much as we do, we become our worst enemy when we let apprehension and negativity consume our thoughts.

The cure?

If I knew the cure, I’d be making millions. In the absence of a cure, I offer a remedy:  SHARE.

What we create – art, music, novels, articles, photography, video, sculptures – is subjective. While we may loathe what we’ve created, someone in the world will appreciate it. The difference between a New York Times Best Seller and the novel in your drawer is the process of discovery. Your piece of art is a masterpiece waiting to be discovered by the right audience. To make it available, you have to let it go.  You have to share it – and that may make you cringe but do share it anyway.

I’ve written plenty of articles about “nothing” – ones I thought were worthless – but that readers loved. Had I not submitted them to my editor, they would remain worthless in my eyes. And my readers would not have given me to the confidence to continue writing.

Sharing doesn’t mean you have to send it to the four corners of the earth. Start by showing a friend or colleague that you respect – and share it with more than one person.

Three years ago, I wrote a novel. I shared the first chapter with a co-worker then who gave me some “constructive feedback.” I put it away and didn’t look at it again until just last week. My writing buddy, Philip David, asked me to produce excerpts in an attempt to help me move my writing along. I read that same first chapter and thought it wasn’t half bad and showed it to him. He heaped on the compliments which boosted my confidence so much that I may actually finish that novel and share it more widely. Who knows – it could be a best seller someday.

Sharing itself is a good act. It is unselfish and offers a peek into what you’re capable of doing. Share your talents and your creation … see what happens. You may feel better and your work may inspire the person with whom you shared it. That’s just positive karma.

If you fall short of someone to share with, give me a shout! I’m always happy to be inspired by other people’s work of genius.

Zenplicity – a new approach to life and writing

Out with the old, in the with the new. Ironic, isn’t it, that this is an “old” adage but not one that we should toss aside.

The past couple of weeks have been a blur, as they always are – every year, without fail. I find myself caught in the retail frenzy, holiday party madness – a whirling dervish of festivity.

And like most major events, a quiet descends after the hullaballoo. It’s this quiet time that I cherish and find productive. After we usher in the new year, all sparkling and shining with hope. After we say our goodbyes to the old year and all the memories – the good and the bad, the hollow and fulfilling, the happiness and sadness. We physically sort gifts into their proper spots, we mentally file away what we learned and experienced.

Fresh in the calm after the storm, I relish a new perspective – of simplicity and release.

It’s simple to think how much control we have over ourselves – how we think and feel. It’s complicated when we try to exert some sort of control over anyone else. Better to realize that we have no control over what people do, say, think, and feel. We can influence, guide, counsel, advise, hope and pray…but we can’t control what happens in anyone else’s world but our own.  With this view, I’ve come to release myself from the burden of control over others.

With this release, I can focus on what I can do, think, say, and feel. The power of simplicity, I’m hoping, will quell the chaotic, anxious thoughts that bounce around between my ears and keep me from doing the things I love – writing, creating, learning.

I hope that this simplicity will quiet my mind and conscience and open a new approach to writing. A zen approach to writing and to life – a sort of “zenplicity” if you will.

Writing Resolutions

After more than a month’s hiatus from writing following NaNoWriMo, I’m ready to dive back into my writing journey. I do so at the encouragement of a fellow novelist, Philip David, who is determined to see his novel to completion. Oh – if only I could share his gusto and drive. Instead, I’m full of New Year’s resolutions – some writerly and some not. In the end, I think I’ll be happier should I keep to these promises and challenges that I’ve made to myself.

1. I will progress my writing – by writing more often, consistently, and concertedly. My writing will improve this year.
2. I will listen to more new music – music that is new to me, that is. This will expand my horizons and taste.
3. I will read more. I have written about how reading makes for better writing. This year, I will take my own advice (“take my own advice” should be a separate resolution, no?).
4. I will read what I wrote in November (of 2007, 2008, or 2009 – I’ll pick one) and decide which novel to finish. I will do this by the end of January.
5. I will exercise. This is the dreaded exercise resolution. Last year, I resolved to THINK about exercising and I fulfilled that resolution 100%. This year, I’ll take it a step further. I’m thinking that I’ll start walking again – this will give me time to work on my “new music” resolution and what I want to write about.

That’s it – write, read, listen, exercise. Pretty basic. But basic, uncomplicated resolutions are the best to have because they’re easier to remember and hopefully they are foundational and have the power to change much more than the surface resolution. It’s the first week of January. I’m resolute. We’ll see what happens!

What are your New Year’s resolutions?

The 30 Days of NaNo

Recap Week 1:

NaNoWriMo is still fresh and new. It’s been one week and I don’t have carpal tunnel and I haven’t become zombie writer Deb. I’m still hopeful and evangelizing the challenge. My index cards have come through for me – as has September’s limited planning.

Recap Week 2:

Week 2 started with a few rough days – with fits and starts. But it ended well – with the words flowing easier and the urge to write stronger. I wrote earlier and more often – and it paid off. I started the week at 15,500 words and ended at 30,300 words. Not bad although I thought I had accelerated the pace this week – looks like I just kept it the same.

Recap Week 3

This was by far the toughest week. This was the make it or break it week – when you abandon or forge through uncertainty and doubt. And despite the loathing I have for everything I’ve written, I do see a pinhole of light going into the final week of NaNoWriMo. This week, I relied on the inspiration and motivation of experienced writers who have been where I am right now and have turned the corner and turned their doubt into a finished novel.

Here’s a breakdown of my days…

NaNoWriMo ’splained

NaNoWriMo = National Novel Writing Month

It happens for 30 days:  November 1 – 30.

The goal: write 50,000 words in 30 days.

Why 50,000 words?

Cuz that’s about the length of  a novel. Give or take.

Why 30 days?

Any longer would be the death of most writers because it’s an intense 30 days. Any shorter would be suicide.

Why do it?

Because we’re writers and we’re crazy. Sometimes we need a little nudge to get going. Other times, we need a nice shove. And for those of us who need a way to jump start a long piece of work, we have NaNoWriMo.

I think people participate in NaNoWriMo for different reasons. I do it because otherwise I wouldn’t stretch myself quite this far. I can write short pieces – articles, blogs, whatever. I don’t sit down every day, though, and spend time writing a novel. NaNoWriMo helps me do that.

And I’m learning in the process – about myself as a writer and about the writing process. What exactly have I learned from my past two forays into NaNo land? Well…that’s a good topic for a subsequent blog.

Is it too late to sign up?

No way – it’s November. If you have the will and fortitude, I say sign up. Even if you don’t hit the 50,000 word mark, chances are you’ve made a good dent. As of the date of this blog post, the fun has just started! It’s free- just log in here:  http://www.nanowrimo.org/

And if you do join, look me up (Debster).

Birds of a Feather

My last post was about finding a writing BFF to support, console, and motivate you to writer more and better. I briefly mentioned writing communities which deserves its own post. And now is the perfect time. Any time is the perfect time, actually.

If you like solitude, as do many creative types, then the notion of joining a community may turn you off or cause you consternation or heartburn – mild or otherwise. I don’t blame you one bit. I think of myself as an independent, solitary person. I don’t generally like crowds, small groups, meetings, or networking. It’s just not my thing. I like email over phone calls. I like writing over talking. I like thinking over socializing.

So it’s strange that I’d even entertain the notion that writing or creative communities, networks, groups, socials … whatever… are good. But they are. And I can always think of 10 thousand excuses for why my schedule won’t accommodate such activities when in truth it does. And my schedule will accommodate a get-together – if it’s important enough to me. And writing is important enough.

Communities and group events, like NanoWrimo, or even online Forums, like Goodreads.com, can help ground you. When you float up into that ether space where your ideas live, you can count on a group to help you make sense of those thoughts. They can make you feel not so alone – and not so strange and crazy. Writers have this commonality – a bit of insecurity (maybe a lot of insecurity), a smidgen of doubt, a hypercritical inner editor, a sense of frustration, and a longing to be heard – that a community identifies with. As important – they can inspire you. A community gives you a sense of normalcy and also a sense that what you’re doing has a purpose that you should pursue. It matters what you write and what you do, otherwise those communities wouldn’t exist.

Not all communities are created equal and you should spend some time finding one that’s right for you. It’s not enough to join a community. Like the saying goes, “You have to give in order to receive.” Even if what you give is a look-see and find out that the community isn’t right for you – you have to give at least that much. Try out a few. If you’re a writer, check out NanoWrimo or Script Frenzy. You can also check out online forums, like Goodreads.com or LibraryThing – sites which cater to readers but also have forums for writers. You can find like-minded people on Twitter, FriendFeed, and Facebook.  Check local classes and seminars to see if other communities exist. Not all will work but if you’re lucky, you’ll find one that does.

Do you have communities/networks/forums to recommend? What are they? Leave me a note and let me know – or if you want to bounce ideas off of me, I’m always happy to listen and “commune!” Look me up :

Twitter:  TheDebster

FriendFeed: TheDebster (although I don’t spend much time here)

Facebook:  Debbie Talley

Goodreads: TheDebster (I’m new here…)

LibraryThing: DebbieT (I don’t spend much time here either)

NanoWrimo: Debster

Writing Out of Solitary Confinement

Being alone – in solitude can be punishment for some, which is why prisons save this form of torture for unruly inmates. To me, solitude can be bliss.

Working alone doesn’t bother me. The thoughts in my head keep me amused. Confused even. You’d think, for a writer, that sequestering yourself would be productive. And it can be. But just as productive is finding a writing buddy or writing community.

I didn’t believe I’d find someone with whom I’d feel comfortable sharing my writing – let alone partnering with when on assignment. And writing networks…the word “network” turns me off. I don’t like “networking.” I feel pressured and uncomfortable – as if my personality is being tested by a group of strangers who share some secret that I don’t know.

Find Somebuddy!

These past couple of months, as I’ve been gearing up for NanoWrimo (National Novel Writing Month), I’ve found a partner who can help me meet my writing goals and inspire me along the way. It’s amazing how easily I blow off personal deadlines.  Someone real – my nagging conscience aside – to remind me of my self-imposed deadlines makes me to work harder – to write more and better. I recommend you find a writing partner/buddy. Here are traits that can help you:

• Holds you accountable to deadlines – in way that doesn’t piss you off or annoy you.
• Inspires you with his/her own talent so that you respect them on a writing or creative level.
• Motivates you – whether it’s with a cattle prod or caffeine – however is best for you.
• Is trustworthy - you need to be able to talk through the rough spots and not feel like an idiot so much. Or, rather, you’ll trust that your idiocy will remain confidential.
• Empathizes. Understanding how writers work is one thing. Knowing what you’re going through as a writer is quite another. Having someone know how you feel makes you feel more sane/less paranoid.
• Complements – and compliments – your efforts. Having someone help you get from outline to draft to story is like having a personal guide. While you know where you want to go, having someone keep you on course and on task can help you get to your destination without too many unfortunate detours. If you’re weak at character development, having someone who is a whiz at it can see you through your challenge. And it never hurts when someone tells you your stuff is good or needs help.
• Has similar goals. Nothing is more frustrating than working with someone who has ulterior motives or wants something different than you. Find someone who is searching for a similar Holy Grail and you’ll both come closer to sipping from that magical goblet!
• Is someone you enjoy. Yep – you gotta like who you’re working with. You wouldn’t keep going back to the same dentist if you hated his guts no matter how good he is. Writing is tough enough. When you need help or motivation or feedback, best to get it from someone you like (and don’t hate).

I could go on and on about what you should look for but if you’re lucky, one will just magically appear. I doubt it, but it could happen. And that’s where writing networks and communities can be helpful. More on that in another post though. For now – go find yourself a writing bff! But you can’t have mine!

Finding Character

Who’s That Guy? : Developing a Character

Every person has a story. Most people have more than one story. But it sometimes seems like only a handful have stories worth writing about.

You have to agree, otherwise us writers wouldn’t have such a hard time when we sit down to write about characters and their stories. Especially when it comes to fictional characters. For once, life seems so much easier than fiction.

This week, I took a writing class hosted by The Gotham Writers’ Workshop.The quick online workshop covered character development. I am admittedly weak when it comes to writing fiction. I struggle with constructing a solid story and plot line (though that’s never stopped me from trying). And character development and dialog may as well be an exercise in futility.

But two sessions provided a ladder to scale those walls of angst. Here’s a quick rundown of how I created lone character Sal Figlio. Sal has yet to have a full novel built around him, but as of now he has a short chapter and a life with novel-worthy stories:

Session 1:  Desperately Seeking…Sal?

I created Sal based on someone I know. I wrote down the names of three people from my own life. I chose from a teacher I couldn’t stand, a quirky boss, a good friend, and a distant relative.

• I described Sal’s physical appearance, loosely based on truth but somewhat fictionalized.
• I described his life, including his home, job, and pastime. I made up the majority of his life.
• Then I totally fictionalized a surprising character trait.

Session 2: Pleased to Meet You

During the second assignment, I wrote about Sal walking into a therapist’s office. This was a writing prompt given to us by the course instructor. Through his actions, conversations, and thoughts, good ole Sal came alive! I learned to show what Sal is like – through:

• what he does
• what he looks like
• what he says
• what he thinks

I could tell you he’s a middle-aged, neurotic carpenter with a foot fetish but better to let you get to know these things about Sal through his interaction with the world.

I know, I know – it sounds easy. Maybe it was beginner’s luck. I wrote a full page based on Sal’s one visit to a shrink. And he didn’t even make it onto the couch. I left him in a lonely corner of the waiting room, grappling with his insecurities.

After the exercise, I felt I cleared a hurdle. A brick in the wall of writer’s block fell away in my hands. In its place, I have Sal – a skeleton outline of his character and insight into what could become some nice tension for his story.

Sweet!

Now go find a character to write about!

the

Helpful Links for Writers

This week, I came across three resources for writers. One is a way to overcome writer’s block, the second is a list of tips from the great and mysterious Jack Kerouac, and the third is a writing technique. I’ll add to this list as I come across helpful blog posts or other references.

1.  How To End Writer’s Block Forever (And Make Readers Fall In Love With You) by Dave Navarro as posted on CopyBlogger.com – listen to your audience and give them what they want and need (sounds kinda like retail but from a writer’s perspective…it’s a tad different).

2.  30 Cool Tips from Jack Kerouac from Gotham Writers – Kerouac’s succinct tips that he penned in “Belief and Technique for Modern Prose.”  From #1:  “Scribbled secret notebooks, and wild typewritten pages, for yr own joy” which I tend to do all the time to #30: “Writer-Director of Earthly movies Sponsored & Angeled in Heaven” which I have no idea what to make of…

3.  It’s Just a Phase by Lazette Gifford – Gifford shares an advanced outlining/planning technique which is mind-boggling at first glance but genious if/when you understand it! I have yet to try this method of writing/outlining as I’m still trying to wrap my head around it. I found the link to her blog by way of Twitter:  @inkyelbows and @johannaharness.

If you have any you want me to list, please email them to me (debbie.talley@rocketmail.com) or place them in the comments.