This must change.

http://www.soupforu.wordpress.com

What I have been doing is working on my new blog, Soup For U (hey, it’s not a shameless plug, it’s the truth)! And it’s been fun. I believe that sometimes you have to be creative in other ways to get the writing juices flowing. So I’ve been working on that blog and I’ve been knitting like crazy and with both of those comes taking photos of whatever I’m making. I’m actually considering taking a photography class.

I’m procrastinating, I know. Procrastination is the supreme enabler for writer’s block. Or vice versa.

I could cheat and say that those little descriptive paragraphs about the dishes I’m making could be considered writing, right? Yeh…who am I fooling?

What I really want to know from you is whether or not you’ve committed to a new year’s resolution to write. If so, how are you managing it?

Lemme know. In the meantime, feel free to check out my new blog, Soup For U (yes…that’s a shameless plug)!

It’s the New Year!

Nothing like stating the obvious, right?! But, hey, I wanted to let you know that I’m still writing away. I’ve started a new site, although totally unrelated to writing (except that posts still need to be written), it’s pretty cool and it’s a collaborative site between me and my family.

The site is called, Soup for You! and it offers recipes. I’m not really a foodie in as much as any human who eats isn’t. That’s to say that I don’t consider food a passion. It’s more a necessity. BUT – I do consider great recipes important and I when I cook, I like to make dishes that my family loves.

Anyway – go check out the site and try a recipe or two. I will caution you, though, my sister and I have only added 3 recipes. We’ll add more, though! Really! I promise! We cook all the time (we just don’t always take photos of what we cook and that’s a prerequisite for a recipe to be posted). We’ll get there though. Keep checking!

I’m writing.

Daily.

Furiously.

Sometimes wearily.

But most times, I start and find myself quickly my daily required word count. And then some.

This year, and for the first time in 4 years, I have a clear vision for my novel. I’m inspired by what I hope it will do – how it will help others. This hope keeps me going. I’ve been thinking about this novel for over a year…it’s been one hard year. I’ve learned so much and I want to give my experience away so that others can learn from it.

I’m 16,000 words into it. I wonder if I have 34,000 words left in me. But this year, it won’t quite matter if I hit 50,000 words…as long as I get the story out and as long as I do something with it, I will feel I’ve accomplished my NaNoWriMo mission.

Are you on a writing mission? If so, share it – for no other reason than how it will make you feel.

It’s August for crying out loud! And I haven’t written like I’ve wanted. Sometimes life gets in the way (what an excuse, you say!). Actually, I need to write what I have been living…or should I?

Someone once told me that when you’re going through a major life crisis then you shouldn’t tweet or blog. While I’m not sure I agree with that advice, I do know that going through a major life crisis may paralyze your social media presence – and it rightly should. Nothing is more important than dealing with a crisis and sometimes tweeting and blogging can be an unnecessary distraction. Sometimes, though, it can be a release.

I’m not going to over-analyze like I tend to. I will say, however, that what life offers is good writing fodder and paying attention and living in the moment is important if you want to write about it.

Am I going through a major life crisis? I don’t know. Whenever I think things are bad, I quickly learn they could be worse. My problems are someone else’s blessings in disguise. Hell, they’re my blessings in disguise sometimes. I have a hope that it will all work out in the end.

Till then, I’ll just remain fond of that writing beast.

But that would be an “untruth.”

I could say that I made a conscious decision to “focus my priorities.” That wouldn’t be an accurate statement.

I could say I’ve been working too hard, slacking off, lazing around, suffering from writer’s block, fixing a twice broken power supply…all excuses (though some frustratingly true).

Suffice to say that while life has gotten complicated and messy, some things have gone by the wayside. One of those things is this blog.

Although left “undone,” I’ve certainly not forgotten. I’ve thought of blogging – specifically, WRITING – in these weeks. I finally feel I have something to write about.

Yep, the furry claws of the writing beast have encircled my throat. Though its grip hasn’t tightened, I can feel it…the hairs tickling my trachea. Soon, very soon, I think that grip will become firm and before becoming choked by the pressure, I will pour out the words, breathing life into what I hope will be the book that finally “sticks.”

We’ll see…but, for now, I apologize for my absence. No excuses though.

My first thought…“Oh my gosh, I suck at blogging.”

Second thought….“Damnit, I suck at writing.”

Feels good to get that off my chest and out of my head.

I guess I needed a break. Or guilt finally caught up to me. Or, better…the urge to write has grown from a soft tap on the shoulder to a gut-pulling monster. And I had to get the little beastie out or else I’d continue to be plagued by guilt and this weird feeling that I should be doing something more.

I imagine that people who are clean freaks get this urge to clean. I wouldn’t know…I’m not a clean freak; I’m just clean enough. Or perhaps it’s what singers feel right before they bust out in song.

All I can tell you is that it feels good to sit down and write. Fingers on the keyboard. Words musing around in my head. And, lucky you – it’s spilling into this blog. I can’t think of a better place to start. Afterall, the act of blogging can be a good place to start. Depending on the topic and purpose of your blog of course. Since mine is about writing and words, it’s a great place to start.

Seized by the Writing Beast

But, so you don’t think this post is a random dump of disconnected thoughts, I will give you this advice: sometimes you have to stew on things until the writing beast seizes you by the throat (or gut) and shakes the words out of you. You let the absent writer “guilt” bottle up until it spills over – and then you find you’re ready to quiet your mind and let the words do what they do…they fall out onto the page and as they fall, you exhale all that creative energy. And what’s left is a marvelous thing – yourself on the page.

So maybe I don’t suck, after all. And if I don’t, you don’t. But tell me, how do you deal with your writing guilt?

Mine is a memory of a hospital stay. I believe I was four years old and my Dad was holding me at the nurse’s station. I remember a foot-high gumdrop tree perched on the counter of the station – the sugar crystals glistening in the florescent lights. My head was cradled on my Dad’s shoulder as he swayed back and forth, rocking me to sleep.  

The crystalline sparkles of the gumdrops grew hazy as my heavy eyelids blurred my focus. A deep cramp followed by a burning heat between my legs would jar me awake – the painful call of needing to go to the bathroom. I would tense, wince and cry until the pain was gone. Then the cycle would start over until an operation would finally provide relief. To this day – hospitals don’t scare me. Nurses and needles don’t frighten me. An oncoming UTI, though, means sheer terror.

From that experience, I learned about the comfort a parent can give a child in even the most painful of times. And I learned that our level of tolerance for what life presents expands based on what we experience. At the early age of four, this one experience would be the basis for exponential growth and development. At any early age, for most of us, our experiences will shape how we perceive the world.

And so it is with writing.

Writing is experiential.

If you expect to be known as a writer, you first have to write. Common sense tells you that, right? But to only write isn’t enough. To grow as a writer, you have to share your writing or at least let your experiences shape your writing. How will you know you suck at character development but excel at building plot? You gotta try.

It may be enough for some, although I would find it a shame, to not share your writing with at least one other person. It’s scary at first but once you have a reader, you begin to experience the uncertainty and misgivings that come with putting your thoughts into words. It’s from this point that you begin to develop the foundation of writing for an audience. And, unless you’re like the late J.D. Salinger – a reclusive writer who, after cultish fame, would not have his work published – the world will begin to digest and appreciate your writing. You, in turn, will develop as a writer. It’s a cycle of learning and development that make writing a fulfilling craft.

Call me crazy…or “call me Ishmael.” I say, push your experiences and take your writing to the next level. You know…take a bite of that gumdrop and see where it leads you – then tell us all about it through your writing.

The cure?

If I knew the cure, I’d be making millions. In the absence of a cure, I offer a remedy:  SHARE.

What we create – art, music, novels, articles, photography, video, sculptures – is subjective. While we may loathe what we’ve created, someone in the world will appreciate it. The difference between a New York Times Best Seller and the novel in your drawer is the process of discovery. Your piece of art is a masterpiece waiting to be discovered by the right audience. To make it available, you have to let it go.  You have to share it – and that may make you cringe but do share it anyway.

I’ve written plenty of articles about “nothing” – ones I thought were worthless – but that readers loved. Had I not submitted them to my editor, they would remain worthless in my eyes. And my readers would not have given me to the confidence to continue writing.

Sharing doesn’t mean you have to send it to the four corners of the earth. Start by showing a friend or colleague that you respect – and share it with more than one person.

Three years ago, I wrote a novel. I shared the first chapter with a co-worker then who gave me some “constructive feedback.” I put it away and didn’t look at it again until just last week. My writing buddy, Philip David, asked me to produce excerpts in an attempt to help me move my writing along. I read that same first chapter and thought it wasn’t half bad and showed it to him. He heaped on the compliments which boosted my confidence so much that I may actually finish that novel and share it more widely. Who knows – it could be a best seller someday.

Sharing itself is a good act. It is unselfish and offers a peek into what you’re capable of doing. Share your talents and your creation … see what happens. You may feel better and your work may inspire the person with whom you shared it. That’s just positive karma.

If you fall short of someone to share with, give me a shout! I’m always happy to be inspired by other people’s work of genius.

The past couple of weeks have been a blur, as they always are – every year, without fail. I find myself caught in the retail frenzy, holiday party madness – a whirling dervish of festivity.

And like most major events, a quiet descends after the hullaballoo. It’s this quiet time that I cherish and find productive. After we usher in the new year, all sparkling and shining with hope. After we say our goodbyes to the old year and all the memories – the good and the bad, the hollow and fulfilling, the happiness and sadness. We physically sort gifts into their proper spots, we mentally file away what we learned and experienced.

Fresh in the calm after the storm, I relish a new perspective – of simplicity and release.

It’s simple to think how much control we have over ourselves – how we think and feel. It’s complicated when we try to exert some sort of control over anyone else. Better to realize that we have no control over what people do, say, think, and feel. We can influence, guide, counsel, advise, hope and pray…but we can’t control what happens in anyone else’s world but our own.  With this view, I’ve come to release myself from the burden of control over others.

With this release, I can focus on what I can do, think, say, and feel. The power of simplicity, I’m hoping, will quell the chaotic, anxious thoughts that bounce around between my ears and keep me from doing the things I love – writing, creating, learning.

I hope that this simplicity will quiet my mind and conscience and open a new approach to writing. A zen approach to writing and to life – a sort of “zenplicity” if you will.

1. I will progress my writing – by writing more often, consistently, and concertedly. My writing will improve this year.
2. I will listen to more new music – music that is new to me, that is. This will expand my horizons and taste.
3. I will read more. I have written about how reading makes for better writing. This year, I will take my own advice (“take my own advice” should be a separate resolution, no?).
4. I will read what I wrote in November (of 2007, 2008, or 2009 – I’ll pick one) and decide which novel to finish. I will do this by the end of January.
5. I will exercise. This is the dreaded exercise resolution. Last year, I resolved to THINK about exercising and I fulfilled that resolution 100%. This year, I’ll take it a step further. I’m thinking that I’ll start walking again – this will give me time to work on my “new music” resolution and what I want to write about.

That’s it – write, read, listen, exercise. Pretty basic. But basic, uncomplicated resolutions are the best to have because they’re easier to remember and hopefully they are foundational and have the power to change much more than the surface resolution. It’s the first week of January. I’m resolute. We’ll see what happens!

What are your New Year’s resolutions?